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Festus Krex
|Base ID = }} Festus Krex is an Elder member of the Dark Brotherhood. His weapon of choice for contracts is magic, stating that "there is a spell for every circumstance." He is the self-described "cranky old uncle who nobody talks to" of the Dark Brotherhood family at the Falkreath Sanctuary. Background When asked about himself, he says he was a "child prodigy." Casting simple spells by one, completing complex incantations by three, resurrecting corpses by seven, and accidentally burnt down his family home by the age of thirteen due to some lightning that got "out of control" but he says nobody should worry, because he mastered all magic just after that happened. He then went on to teach at the College of Winterhold for two years, but left due to the fact that none of the mages there were "truly appreciating the Destruction school." This led him to join the Dark Brotherhood. When asked for help about a contract from Nazir, he says that methods used today are overrated and follows up with, "Just do what I do. Walk up to them, introduce yourself, melt all their skin off, and run like the wind. Works every time." He is also the first member to welcome Cicero into the sanctuary. If asked for advice during Bound Until Death, he will reveal that he was married at one point, but murdered his wife during their honeymoon because the bath she had made for him was lukewarm, not tepid. Interactions Recipe for Disaster At first Festus is rude and arrogant towards the Dragonborn, but upon following his instructions in the "Recipe for Disaster" quest, he says, "I believe I was wrong about you" and he gives them the Nightweaver's Band. When the Dragonborn returns to the Sanctuary during the Penitus Oculatus attack, Festus is the first of the Dark Brotherhood that is found, his face hidden under a hood and pinned to a tree by twenty arrows. Dialogue Conversations Contracts Arnbjorn: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Veezara: "Ha ha ha ha! Again! Again! Do the part where he tries to buy you some candy." Babette: "Okay, okay. Wait. Here we go. "Ooh, you are such a pretty little girl. Would the sweetie like a sweetie? Oh yes, how about some chocolate?" Oh yes, please, kind sir. My mama and papa left me all alone, and I'm so very hungry. I know a shortcut to the candy shop. Through this alley. Oh ya, very good. Very good. My it is dark down here. Oh, but you are so beautiful. Such a lovely smile. Your teeth... your teeth! No! Aggghh!!" Gabriella: "Oh Babette, but you are so wicked." Nazir: "What about you, Festus? How did that last contract turn out?" Arnbjorn: "Oh, yes, please, old man. Regale us with your tales of wizardry..." Festus Krex: "Ah, the young and stupid. Always mocking the experienced and brilliant. My contract went very well, I'll have you know. Tried a new spell. Little something I've been working on in my spare time. Came "this" close to turning that priest inside out. Damned messy." Gabriella: "And what of your latest, Arnbjorn. Something about a Khajiit? Merchant was it?" Babette: "Oh, a big doggy chasing a little kitty! How adorable!" Nazir: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Festus: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Veezara: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Arnbjorn: "I am not adorable, it was not funny, and he wasn't a merchant. He was a Khajiit monk, a master of the Whispering Fang style. But now he's dead... and I have a new loincloth." Nazir: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Festus: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Veezara: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Babette: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Caravan job Veezara: "Tell me, brother. Are the stories true?" Festus Krex: "You must be talking about the caravan job..." Veezara: "You infiltrated the position, eliminated the target, and made it look like an accident. Impressive. I'd say you earned your bonus on that one!" Festus Krex: "What? You think me too old, too feeble? There is more knowledge in me than in two of you pups together. And knowledge... knowledge is my weapon." Arriving in the Sanctuary Cicero: "But the Night Mother is mother to all! It is her voice we follow! Her will! Would you dare risk disobedience? And surely... punishment?" Arnbjorn: "Keep talking, little man, and we'll see who gets "punished."" Festus Krex: "Oh, be quiet you great lumbering lapdog. The man has had a long journey. You can at least be civil. Mister Cicero, I for one am delighted you and the Night Mother have arrived. Your presence here signals a welcome return to tradition." Cicero: "Oh, what a kind and wise wizard you are. Sure to earn our Lady's favor." Astrid: "You and the Night Mother are of course welcome here, Cicero. And you will be afforded the respect deserving of your position as Keeper. Understood... husband?" Arnbjorn: "Hmph." Cicero: "Oh, yes yes yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Astrid: "But make no mistake. I am the leader of this Sanctuary. My word is law. Are we clear on that point?" Cicero: "Oh yes, mistress. Perfectly! You're the boss." The Cure for Madness Babette: "Just try to relax, Veezara. Let the elixir do its work. You'll feel better, shortly." Veezara: "Achh... Thank you, dear. You are most kind. The jester's cut feels as bad as it looks, I'm afraid." Astrid: "Damn it, this never should have happened! We knew better. We knew better, and still we let our guards down. Agh!" Festus Krex: "I'll admit, even I'm having a hard time disagreeing with you..." the Dragonborn speaks to Astrid Festus Krex: "It's true, I'm afraid, Cicero was a little whirlwind, slashing this way and all that. It would have been funny, if he weren't trying to murder us all." Nazir: "Don't forget the ranting and raving. About the Night Mother, how she was the true leader of the Dark Brotherhood, and Astrid was just a "pretender."" the Dragonborn speaks to Astrid again Veezara: "Bested by a fool. Who's the fool now, hmm?" Babette: "Hush, Veezara. You were very brave. Astrid may well be dead if not for you." Astrid: "She's right. I'll be forever in your debt, dearest brother. Now be quiet. Just... just rest." Gallery Festus krex arrowed.png|Festus Krex, nailed to a tree, during "Death Incarnate." Trivia *Festus may be a reference to two characters who share his name from the Fallout series, which Bethesda have contributed to. *"Festus" is Latin for "joyous" or "happy." Which may suggest he's Imperial. *After being found dead at the Sanctuary, his shrouded outfit cannot be taken from his body. *After speaking to the other guild members about his recent contracts, Festus will often make a comment about how they are a "young pup" and that he is more experienced because of his age. He will make these comments even to Babette, who is actually the only member of the Dark Brotherhood older than Festus, being over 300 years old. *Festus is voiced by Jim Cummings, the voice actor for Minsc in the Baldur's Gate series. *At first glance, Festus will be kind to the player when they are revealed as Listener, but later it is revealed that he is jealous to their relationship to the Night Mother, having wanted to be named Listener himself. *Festus is an essential character until he suffers a scripted death. His corpse is actually considered a container in game data (Form ID: 00075CE6). There is also game data for another dead version of Festus Krex (Base ID: 000E0D6F), though this version is not used at all in the game. *Festus' arrow riddled corpse will remain pinned to a tree just outside the door of the sanctuary for the remainder of the game after "Death Incarnate." Appearances * de:Festus Krex es:Festo Krex it:Festus Krex pl:Festus Krex ru:Фестус Крекс Category:Skyrim: Dark Brotherhood Members Category:Skyrim: Essential Characters Category:Skyrim: Warlocks Category:Skyrim: Quest Givers